January Blues

This is the first week I can really say I feel bummed out in France.  Like really sad.  I’m not really liking my teaching job, and I feel like I just don’t have anything to do here.  Working for 12 hours a week fills about 5% of my time.  Worrying, bitching, and planning for work takes maybe another 5%.

I know my lack of things to do is for a lack of getting out and getting myself involved in things.  But for the first couple months I’ve been here, being with my new friends out exploring things has kept me busy.  But now, coming back from the December holidays, I feel like I’ve done most everything Perpignan has to offer (for those short on cash).  And it’s such a small city, I have no idea how I’m going to fill my time these next 4 months.  I don’t have the resources to be traveling all the time.  And if I did, as I’ve been traveling around, I’ve really found out that I don’t enjoy going by myself.  I envy others who can do it, but I really like and need the camaraderie of traveling with other people.

My body is feeling so under-used and I wish I had a gym to go to.  I really really wish I could be spinning (biking on the indoor-road bikes), but when I went and talked to the gym about joining, they told me it would be 315 euros for a 5 month membership!  (Which is insanely expensive!)  I feel a million times better when I’m working out.  The obvious thing would be to just get out and run on the streets, but I think the cortisone shot I had in my knee is starting to wear off, and it’s starting to hurt a lot again.  I wore heels going out one night this week (without really doing too much walking), and the next day, my knee was throbbing and so swollen.  So I don’t think running is going to be a viable option for me.  At least not right now.  I need to go out and see if any of the gyms are doing New Years specials and maybe something around is cheaper.

I think it’s all just feeling worse-than-usual right now because of having my wallet stolen.  On top of living on a pretty tight budget to begin with, I just found out that whoever stole my credit card has been charging hundreds of dollars on it.  The call that I made to Visa the night it was stolen must not have worked, because the card obviously isn’t blocked.  I have to miss work tomorrow morning to go talk to the bank, which is just making me feel even worse about missing school because I could have (and should have) dealt with this somewhat already last week.

I’m not sure what my bank’s policy is about stolen card charges, but I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.  Hopefully I’ll be able to understand them… It’s situations like these that really stress me out when I need definitive answers and I struggle to understand what they’re telling me.  Half the time I have no idea.

I’m just missing home and am kinda lonely….but I know things will start feeling better soon.  I have to remember what I told myself last year when I was feeling this same way… “Become the person you want to spend time with.”  I don’t want to spend time with sad Jacqueline, so I need to go get happy!   Supportive comments are always appreciated! 🙂

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4 responses

  1. Jack-aye!
    I am sending you a big hug and a kiss from NJ! I love and miss you so much and I am going to be so happy to see you when you come back home 🙂
    As for all of the BS life has thrown your way, I understand how it feels when everything keeps getting worse and worse….it’s like you battle one problem and another one pops up!
    I didn’t believe it when people told, but it is true: “things are not as bad as they seem.” You can only battle one problem at a time and I am so proud of you for sticking through this experience!
    I love you and I am here if you ever want to vent or talk.

    love you!!

    -Nikki

  2. you said it right “the January Blues” they can hit fast. Just think of the stories you will be able to tell your children…..is’t that what they say? They also say”after a low there comes a high for sure”.
    You can do it!!!!! Think of all the fun you already had, take it one day at a time. show those French teachers what you are made of, have fun with your students.

    We are enjoing your blods very much…especially when you are having a good time….but even the other ones give us a true picture what your adventure is about……ups and downs

    Love you, Oma and Opa

  3. OK, Jacqueline – no more pity party – you are just tired and frustrated about the wallet issue…. just think of all of the wonderful adventures that you have had the privilege of doing over these past few months. You are so lucky – as most people will never get to do even half of what you have in the few years that you have been on this earth… I hope that you are feeling better by now (not sick I mean) and that the new year is a great one for you… Cheer up – it is just the winter blues along with the after holiday boredom…
    Love you and miss you,
    Dee
    xoxo

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